


Through the Flames

by ByAStream



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22697938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByAStream/pseuds/ByAStream
Summary: You’re a firefighter with the FDNY. After a fire that ends in tragedy, you find yourself running into some of the Avengers and maybe finding some new friends and romance along the way.
Relationships: Sam Wilson/Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: jbbarnesnnoble.tumblr.com

Smoke clung to your clothing as you walked into your apartment. You hadn’t bothered with a shower after your shift. It had been a tough one. You’d had your shares of difficult calls, back when you were just a small town volunteer firefighter. But now you were in the big leagues, working for the FDNY. You flipped on the television as you set about making coffee. You hadn’t eaten since dinner the previous night, and truth be told you still weren’t hungry. You hadn’t been able to stomach what Carlos had made down the station, still thinking too much about how you thought you could have saved them, only to find it had already been too late, that they had been gone before the fire had even started.

“The NYPD are investigating after the discovery of two bodies inside the home that caught fire in the Flatbush section of Brooklyn. Records show that the house belongs to--,” you changed the channel as the morning news anchor discussed the fire. You should’ve known that it’d be all over the news. You knew there was nothing you could have done, logically, but it still hit hard. 

It wasn’t the first time you’d dealt like something like this. No, the first time had been at 18, fresh out of the fire academy, one of the first major calls you’d gone on. It had been traumatic. Therapy had followed. You knew you weren’t the only one, but it was something you just didn’t talk about. Some compartmentalized. You tried, but at the end of the day, those you couldn’t save clung to you like the smoke from the fires. 

You had become a firefighter at first because your town needed volunteers. Then you realized after college, it could be a career. You took the test, got brought on, and now here you were two years later, working with a ladder company in Brooklyn. You had the next two days off. With watching television suddenly being the last thing you wanted to do, you weren’t sure what you wanted. You knew sleep wouldn’t be found, not yet. You couldn’t get the fire off your mind. After eating, you decided to go for a walk to clear your head. The first snow of the season had fallen in the city two days prior, and it was cold enough still that it stuck around. 

You found yourself sitting in a quiet diner, the sound of  _ Silver Bells  _ playing over the crackling speakers. The diner was one you liked. It had been there since the 1930s, passing through the family. Your grandmother had brought you once when you were a child, visiting the city for the day. You were sat at your usual table, in a corner where you could just observe. 

“Heard about the fire, kiddo, your usual, on the house,” Marybeth said, setting a plate down in front of you along with a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice. You nodded in appreciation, not wanting to talk. She squeezed your shoulder as she went to check on another table. Marybeth was the current owner of Maybel’s. Maybel had been her mother, Frank her grandfather who opened the place. 

You looked up when you heard the bell above the door ring, drawn out of your thoughts. Several people walked in. Though they were dressed casually you knew who they were. You wondered what some of the Avengers were doing at a diner in Brooklyn. The only table big enough for them was the one next to yours. 

You pulled out your phone and went to twitter. You made the mistake of going into the explore tab. Right at the top was the story about the fire. You sighed and set the phone back down, willing the tab to change itself as you felt the tears welling in your eyes. You didn’t expect Marybeth to sit down across from you and take your hand.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she said. You took a shaky breath.

“They were gone before the fire even started and somehow that’s supposed to make it easier but it doesn’t. All it does is remind me that there’s bad in this world and no amount of good is ever going to counter it. God, Mary. They were kids. They were kids and--,” you took a breath. Breaking down in public was not what you wanted to do. 

“Oh, honey,” she said, giving your hand a squeeze. 

“It’s not...not the first time I’ve dealt with loss. But it doesn’t get easier. You think could I have saved them? What if they were still holding on when the fire started, before it got to that point?” you asked.

“You can’t dwell on those questions. You’ll only serve to torture yourself. The pies are almost done. How about I get you a big slice of apple, extra ice cream and extra whipped cream?” she asked. You gave her a small smile and a nod. She patted your hand before standing and heading back to the kitchen. You pushed some of the food around, forcing yourself to take bites here and there. 

You finally took stock of the room, determined to distract yourself. You smiled when you saw the little girl with her parents, chocolate all over her face, no doubt from the pancakes her parents let her get. Your eyes moved to the elderly couple in another corner, feeding each other bites of their food. And then you looked at the table next to yours. Captain America, Black Widow, the Falcon, Thor, the Winter Soldier, and Scarlet Witch were seated there. 

Scarlet Witch kept looking over at you, a frown on her face. Steve Rogers looked at her with concern. You wondered what the relationships were like between the group, momentarily, before pushing the thoughts away. A couple of your coworkers kept tabs on the Avengers, something you always rolled your eyes at. You could hear Amanda now, going on about how they were heroes, Garrett taking about how Black Widow totally saved him once. Your coworkers were your family, your team. You made a note to check in on them later in the day. Your appetite was slowly making itself known. You had finished your food by the time Marybeth brought out a nice warm slice of apple pie. 

“You’re the best,” you said as you took a bite, closing your eyes at the taste. She just laughed and shook her head. 


	2. Chapter 2

Maybel’s was an old favorite of both Steve and Bucky. It was one of the surviving places from their youth. It was no surprise that the team found themselves there for lunch, a rare moment of quiet. They were seated at their usual spot in the diner, a table near the back. The diner was quiet, given the time of day. There were few people in the diner. An elderly couple in the front at a corner table, a young family, and a young woman wearing an FDNY job shirt and a frown on her face. Sam looked at her, taking in her body language. It wasn’t hard to guess that she’d been at the fire in Flatbush. His suspicions were only confirmed when the waitress spoke to her. He caught some of the conversation, knowing Steve and Bucky heard it all.

“Wanda, you alright?” Steve asked, looking at her. Wanda was frowning, concern on her face.

“The woman there...she’s the one who found those children in Flatbush,” Wanda said, her voice soft. 

“There’s something off about that fire beyond the homicide and arson,” Natasha said, sliding a folder across the table. Sam peered over Steve’s shoulder at the papers.

“Their father was connected to Hydra,” Steve said quietly. 

“And went rogue after the fall of SHIELD. He assisted with locating Hydra bases. He was assassinated last year in Berlin while attending a conference. The entire family changed identities,” Natasha said. 

“If the father was assassinated, why go after the rest of the family?” Bucky asked. 

“That’s the million dollar question. The mother hasn’t been located, but it’s suspected that she may have still been loyal to Hydra. She may have been the one to kill them and set the fire,” she said. The conversation was cut off by the waitress arriving with their food, the folder put away for a later time. 

When they returned to the tower, where they stayed when working something in the city, Natasha pulled Wanda into her room. She had been off since the diner, not saying much. 

“Did you push?” Natasha asked. Wanda shook her head.

“No. Her thoughts were just so loud. So much loathing. She blames herself for what happened. I haven’t felt that much pain since Bucky first arrived,” she said quietly. 

“Just from today?” Natasha asked. Wanda shook her head. 

“That kind of darkness doesn’t manifest in a day. It wasn’t the first time she couldn’t save someone,” Wanda said. Wanda left shortly after. Natasha opened her laptop while also utilizing FRIDAY. She had enough to go off of from the job shirt the woman had been wearing. 

“Hold on, FRIDAY walk me through that fire from when she was just out of the academy,” Natasha said. 

“Investigation showed it was arson. A woman, her sister, and three children were found with gunshot wounds. The father of the children was found six months later, deceased. The father had ties to Hydra but had started working with Director Fury covertly. His deceit was discovered by Alexander Pierce but no connection was ever made between Hydra and the fire,” FRIDAY said. 

“How many other fires has she been involved with that had fatalities?” Natasha asked. 

“Since joining the FDNY, she has been involved in four fires that resulted in fatalities,” the AI said. Natasha got the details. Two of those fires, including the one in Flatbush, had involved children. She ran a check on the other firefighters in the ladder company, everything coming up clean. 

Natasha pulled Steve into an empty conference room the next day to talk, handing him a folder of the information she found. 

“By the way, the woman from the diner, the firefighter? She’s clean. Even though she was at the fire years ago, she’s clean,” Natasha said. 

* * *

Sam entered the gym, seeing Steve already warming up. He couldn’t get the woman from the diner off his mind. He knew all too well the kind of weight things like that fire carried. Add in the fact that the fires were potentially connected to Hydra and he found himself worrying more about this woman he didn’t know. There was something about her that stuck with him. 

“Do we know anything else about the firefighters? Any known connections?” Sam asked Steve as they prepared to workout. 

“Nothing more than was in the briefing. You think there’s a connection?” Steve asked.

“One of them was at the scene of both the fires. What if it’s a message, if not to her then to someone close to her. A taunt,” Sam said. Steve nodded, seeing where Sam was coming from.

“I’ll see if Nat can dig anything else up. She did a cursory look into the firefighters, nothing too in depth on their families though,” Steve said. 

“What do we do if there is something there?” Sam asked.

“What we always do. If one of them is involved, if they are connected, we deal with it. Right now, all we can do is wait. We don’t have hard evidence yet about who is involved, if it’s coincidence or a legitimate hit by Hydra,” Steve said.

“And while we wait, more people can get hurt, more people can die,” Sam said as he landed a punch on the punching bag.

“What’s this about, Sam? Right now, the police are treating it as a regular homicide. We don’t have jurisdiction on this one,” Steve said, hitting his own bag. 

“There was just something about that woman,” Sam said.

“So you have a crush and you want to protect her? You know nothing about her,” Steve said. Sam shook his head.

“I won’t lie and say I wasn’t attracted to her. But this isn’t about that. Wanda’s reaction to her...that went beyond someone experiencing job related trauma. We deal with that often enough,” Sam replied. Steve paused for a moment and gave him a look.

“So you’re attracted to her and you want to fix her like she’s a broken toy?” Steve asked. This time, Sam punched him instead of the bag, more in jest than in malice. 

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you. I don’t want to fix her. I want to help her...don’t give me that look it’s different. She’s a person, not a doll. There’s just something about her,” Sam said. 

“You have a crush. Admit it, Sam,” Steve said.

“Who does birdie have a crush on?” Bucky asked as he walked into the gym. Sam groaned in annoyance, landing one last punch on the bag before leaving the gym.

“I hate you both,” he yelled before walking out the door. A short while later, he sent off a text asking about the potential mission.

* * *

Two days later, Sam was out jogging in the early morning. It was cold, but it wasn’t freezing. While he enjoyed living away from the city at the compound and the peace it could bring, he couldn’t deny that he also enjoyed when their work brought them into the city for longer periods of time. Tony had considered selling the tower until Pepper convinced him that having a base of operations in the city along with the compound in upstate wouldn’t be a bad idea. If the Avengers had work that kept them in the city longer, they would have a secure place to stay, to train, and to prepare for missions. 

The city that never sleeps was always calm in the early morning, before people headed out to go about their days. It was something Sam loved, seeing a different side to the city. As he jogged along a trail, he saw someone familiar. He saw you. You were bundled up in an FDNY sweatshirt, earmuffs, and sweatpants. He couldn’t tell if you were just starting your day or preparing to end it. He saw you stumble and fall and rushed to help you.

“Well, I don’t think it’s broken, maybe just a sprain. I’d keep it iced and elevated today just in case, and maybe go get it checked,” he said after he helped you to a bench. You nodded.

“Thanks,” you said. 

“I’m Sam, by the way,” he said. You smiled and nodded before introducing yourself. 

“Carlos always nags me about jogging after a shift, but, it helps me get to sleep,” you said. 

“Carlos sounds like a wise person,” Sam said. You laughed. Sam found your laugh to be adorable, not that he would tell you that. Not when you’d just met. 

“He is. He’s one of the more senior members of the company. He’s been a firefighter for about fifteen years now,” you said. The two of you soon parted ways after your ankle stopped throbbing. Sam had walked with you a bit, ensuring that you weren’t going to fall over and that the injury wasn’t worse than it appeared. 

Later that night, his phone dinged with a text from Natasha. The smile on his face turned into a frown as he read what it said.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr: jbbarnesnnoble.tumblr.com

You couldn’t get him off your mind. You ran into Sam every morning that week while out on your jog. It had been a quiet week, all things considered. You looked forward to the mornings when you’d get to see Sam.

As the two of you jogged around the park, you made small talk. You told him about your life growing up, in turn he told you about his childhood and the things he’d gotten up to as a kid. As you rounded a corner, he seemed to be lost in thought before he spoke.

“Why did you choose to become a firefighter?” he asked. You sighed.

“I wanted to help people. I was, god, I think I was fifteen when our house burned. Dad and I were the only survivors. I had been at a friend’s house that night. Dad was hurt really bad. He had come home and the fire had already started...there was no hope. Someone attacked him,” you said, keeping your tone even. You rarely spoke about it. You had your theories about it. Your father never talked about it. You weren’t even sure what it was your father did for work. All you knew was that after the fire, he was working for a government agency and you couldn’t know anything about his work. As it was, you hadn’t spoken much in recent years. 

“Did they ever find out who did it?” Sam asked. You shook your head.

“No. I think dad knows, but, he’s never said anything. He was working for the governor at the time. Now he’s working with some government agency. I don’t know much more than that,” you told him. The two of you were wrapping up your run. The sun was finally over the horizon as you slowed to a walk. 

“When’s your next day off?” Sam asked. You smiled at him.

“Why? You planning on asking me out, Wilson?” you asked, feeling bold in the moment. You cringed inwardly. Here you were, forming a friendship with an attractive guy, not just an attractive guy, but an Avenger, and you were messing it up. To your surprise, he smiled back at you.

“Maybe. What if I am?” he asked. You ducked your head a bit before looking back at him.

“I’d say you’d need to get my number first,” you replied. He held out his phone a moment later, and you put your number in, along with your name and a fire emoji. A moment later, your phone pinged with a text, allowing you to save his number in your phone. The two of you made your way to the entrance of the park, parting ways as you headed in opposite directions. 

As you made your way back to your apartment, you went over the fires in your head. Something was off about them. They were too similar not to be connected. As you made it to your apartment, your phone rang. You frowned as you saw your father on the caller ID. You rarely spoke to him. If he was calling, something had to be wrong. He wasn’t the type to call to check in.

“Hey dad,” you said as you answered the phone. You threw your keys on the kitchen counter as you set about pulling a pre-made meal from the freezer to defrost while you slept. You stockpiled easy to freeze things like lasagna when you were on the night shift.

“Hey slugger, how are you doing?” he asked. Slugger. You’d hated that nickname as a child, born from your days playing softball. But as you grew older, you missed the days when your father would use it. Things hadn’t always been so strained between the two of you. Even after you had moved out. He had disagreed with you becoming a firefighter, not wanting you in danger. He hadn’t used the nickname in a long time. He reserved it for when he was worried, which in turn caused a pit of anxiety to settle in your stomach.

“Good, good. It’s been a rough month, but, I’m doing good,” you said. You could hear him take a shaky breath, the line silent for a minute before he spoke again. The awkward tension was palpable, despite the two of you being miles apart. 

“Listen. You’re in danger. These fires...they’re a message,” he said. Your brow furrowed in confusion.

“What are you talking about pops?” you asked. He sighed.

“I can’t tell you much. I don’t want you in more danger than you already are. I made enemies when I was younger. Enemies who will stop at nothing to punish me and others like me,” he said.

“You’re not making any sense,” you said. 

“Please, promise me you’ll be careful. I’m afraid they’re going to come for you next. You’re all I have left, slugger,” he said. 

“Dad, you’re scaring me,” you told him. You couldn’t help the feeling of dread that washed over you like an unexpected rainfall. 

“Listen, I’ve got to go. Just promise me, kiddo,” he begged.

“I promise. I’ll be careful,” you said.

“I love you,” he told you.

“I love you too, dad,” you replied before he hung up. You headed for your room, almost on autopilot. You had a bad feeling about going into work that night as you drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Your dreams had been plagued with nightmares since the last fire. Grumpily, you made your way to the station. You jumped as Amanda punched your arm.

“What’s gotten into you?” she asked.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” you said as you glanced at the television. Another fire had happened. This time on the Upper East Side. You turned up the volume as the news anchor spoke.

“Police have now confirmed that they are investigating this fire in connection with the fire last week in the Flatbush section of Brooklyn. While they would not release more details, sources say that this could be turned over to the Avengers in due time. For Channel Seven Eyewitness News,” the reporter said from the scene. 

“Great, so now we’ll have the Avengers poking around at fires?” Garrett snapped. While he admired the Avengers, you all knew what having them at the scene would mean. It would serve to make doing your jobs more difficult, especially if members of the public caught on to the fact that they were there. There were always onlookers at fire scenes, but bring the Avengers in and it would be chaos. 

It was in the middle of dinner that you were called to a smoke condition. It wasn’t an occupied structure this time. You headed in with Garrett backing you up. Carlos and Amanda weren’t too far behind the two of you. You noticed something was off in the room just beyond the fire door the two of you had breached. 

“Something isn’t right. No one comes into this structure. There’s--,” you said, cutting off as Garrett moved ahead of you. You called his name to stop him, but he tripped the wire.

“Garrett move!” you yelled. But it was too late. You were thrown back by the force of the explosion, landing hard on your arm. You looked around and saw Garrett laying motionless. You crawled toward him, ignoring the pain shooting up your arm. Fire was creeping in around the both of you. You had no time to assess injury. You had to get out. You looked around for a clear path. Your radio was busted, and his was nowhere to be seen. The ensuing collapse from the blast had cut you off from Amanda and Carlos. You lifted Garrett up, spotting an opening. 

It was nothing short of a miracle that you made it out, almost collapsing with him in your arms. Medics swarmed the two of you, taking him away. The pain started to set in as your gear was pulled from you and you were placed on a stretcher. 

“Where are Carlos and Amanda?” you asked.

“Don’t worry about them. They’re safe, they’re out. Now we gotta get you to the hospital,” the medic said as you were strapped to the stretcher. You weren’t sure if the tears you felt running down your cheeks were from the pain or from the fear you had that you were about to lose a friend. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I thought I had posted chapter three here as well as on Tumblr...turns out, I didn't. So, here's a two for one today!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: jbbarnesnnoble.tumblr.com

_ “She’s crashing!” someone yelled. Your condition had quickly changed en route to the hospital. They were quick to figure out why. You were bleeding heavily, shrapnel from the blast having gotten through your jacket. While you were being rushed into surgery, the Avengers were across town. _

A fire had broken out in Queens, following the pattern. The commissioner called the Avengers to the scene. Commissioner Haddock frowned as he stood with Captain America and the ones he had brought with him.

“The evidence we’ve turned up suggests that these fires are in your wheelhouse. We’ll meet tomorrow to discuss the findings, but, my officers and detectives can no longer safely investigate these fires. Fire Commissioner Andrews agrees and the Bureau of Fire Investigation is turning over what they have in conjunction with the NYPD,” Haddock said. The lines on his face seemed to deepen as he shook his head. The rash of arsons that turned out to be murders had taken a toll, not only on his officers but on the morale of first responders throughout the city. His radio started picking up chatter from Brooklyn.

“Looks like you’re up, Captain,” Haddock said, running a hand through his hair. Another night with no rest for the city. The Avengers gathered looked toward their captain for orders. It was a smoke condition that had come in at a vacant building in Brooklyn. An uneasy feeling settled on the group. 

“Nat, Bucky, you stay here with Parker. Wanda, Sam, and I will head to Brooklyn, find out what’s going on. We’ll meet up at the Tower after. Stay alert, we don’t know if these are connected or if there’s others out there,” Steve said. 

They arrived on the scene to hear someone laying on the horns of the fire trucks. Evacuation. Seconds later, an explosion rocked the building. Steve made his way to the firefighter running the scene.

“Anyone inside?” he asked. The chief rattled off your name and several others. Steve glanced back at where Sam and Wanda stood. Two firefighters emerged, clutching on to one another for support. Steve recognized them from the reports. Amanda and Carlos. You were still missing. He could see Sam and Wanda putting the pieces together before they reached him. 

“She’s in there, Cap. She’s in there, we have to go in there,” Sam said. Steve put a hand on his chest.

“We can’t. We’re not trained for that, Sam. Like it or not, we can’t go running in there. We don’t know what else could be in there. The structure isn’t stable,” Steve said. Sam looked at him in disbelief.

“We’re the Avengers,” Sam protested. 

“Right. The Avengers. Not firefighters. We’re a lot of things Sam, but immortal isn’t one of them. None of us are going in there,” Steve said, his tone saying it all. It was final. No arguing. Regardless of whatever burgeoning friendship Sam had with you. Sam ran toward you when he saw you emerge from the smoldering wreck of a building. You were rushed to a stretcher, talking and alert. Steve gave him a nod to go with you. Someone needed to be there. This was their investigation now, their problem. 

“I need you to tell me everything leading up to the explosion,” Steve said to the chief. His eyes flitted around the scene, taking in every detail he could. He could hear the creaking of the building as everyone was ushered further away. 

“There’s not much to tell you, Captain. Call came in for a smoke condition at an unoccupied structure. We figured it was routine. We arrived, no fire showing. One of the firefighters noticed something. Don’t know what, she radioed that no one should come in, something wasn’t right. Before she could say anything else, the explosion happened,” the chief explained. 

“We have a member of our team at the hospital. As soon as any of your crew are able to tell us what happened in there, we’ll need to speak to them,” Steve said. 

“Of course...I should start reaching out to their families, let them know to get down there,” the chief said. 

* * *

They wouldn’t let Sam go past the double doors of the ER. You were tough. You were strong. You had to be. The situation had been dire enough they had needed Sam as an extra set of hands to keep pressure on the biggest would you had from the explosion until they reached the hospital and staff took over. Protocol be damned. 

He was still pacing when Steve arrived with Wanda. They were brought to another waiting room to wait for any news about you and the other three firefighters. A doctor emerged a short while later.

“Ms. Paulson and Mr. Mendoza are both being kept for observation. I’ve informed them that you’re here. They suffered minor injuries in the explosion. Ms. Paulson said they were further behind the other two when it happened. The other two are still in surgery,” the doctor, who introduced herself as Dr. Ambrose, told them. 

“How bad is it?” Sam asked. Dr. Ambrose had a grim expression.

“It’s not looking good. They were closest to the blast by Ms. Paulson and Mr. Mendoza’s accounts,” she said. Sam felt his heart break a little more. You had only known him a short while, but it had been enough for you to find a home in his heart. As sure as the sun was to rise in the morning, he knew he was falling for you, fast. 

“Let us know if there’s any updates. We’ll speak to the other two now,” Steve said. Sam followed behind, lost in his thoughts. You were going to be okay, you had to be. He was zoned out as they spoke to your colleagues,  _ your friends _ . Sam knew you considered them family. It was the same way he saw his fellow Avengers. The amount of trust you had to have in them to have your back day in and day out was more than your average work place. It could be the difference between life and death for people. 

When they finished the interviews, the three of them headed to the empty room a nurse had shown them to so they could wait for news on you and Garrett. Natasha, Peter, and Bucky arrived soon after. 

“What are we thinking?” Steve asked.

“Sam’s not going to like this,” Natasha said.

“What is it?” Sam asked. Anxiety started to set in. He was worried about you as it was. Anything Natasha had to say now was cause for worry. He ran through the list of things she might say. He hoped it wasn’t what he thought she was going to say. Natasha was already suspicious enough about you. 

“Your girl’s father? He’s ex-HYDRA,” Natasha said, sending the room into a stunned silence. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You begin to recover in the aftermath of the fire.

You were getting sick of hospital food. You had been kept there for a week. A mild concussion, a messed up shoulder, and a broken wrist. They kept you because of the risk of complications and wanting to ensure you got started with your physical therapy. 

“You ever go home, Sam?” you joked when he came into your room with coffee and a bag of food. He had been sneaking you food when he could. The nurse that was usually in charge during the day was a no-nonsense woman who was known to forbid outside food from getting to patients. 

“Sometimes. Got your favorite. Don’t know how you stand that stuff. What the hell is a Taylor ham? I asked for pork roll and the guy at the bagel shop gave me a look” he said. 

“Pork roll, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel with salt, pepper, and ketchup is a New Jersey delicacy. Taylor ham is what the heathens in North Jersey call it. Taylor is a brand and legally they can’t call pork roll ham,” you said. Sam stared at you before shaking his head. 

“You’re...you know what I’m not going to even go there. Enjoy your food. Nurse Hardass was conveniently called away to another room when I got here,” he said. You smiled at him as you unwrapped your sandwich and took a bite.

“You’re the best, you know that?” you asked. The two of you made small talk as you ate. You had been checking in on Garrett daily. He was in a coma. You knew things weren’t looking good. Amanda and Carlos had both been in to see you, the two of them only suffering minor injuries. You were all worried about Garrett. He was like a brother to you, the first friend you had made when you joined the FDNY. 

Garrett had been your rock, the reason you never gave up. You weren’t ready for the possibility that he wouldn’t be there. Guilt weighed heavily on you. Sam could tell as he watched you when Amanda stopped by a short time later. Sam’s thoughts drifted as you and Amanda spoke. He was sure you had no idea what Natasha had told him.

_ “Your girl’s father? He’s ex-HYDRA,” Natasha said. Sam stared at her, mouth open as if he was about to say something, defend her. Natasha held a hand up before he could begin to argue. _

_ “I’m not saying she’s HYDRA. But her father was. You mentioned the fire from when she was younger. Her father had been attacked. He was the only survivor other than her. She wasn’t home,” she said. Sam sighed. _

_ “She said he was working for the governor then. Didn’t say much else,” Sam told her.  _

_ “The governor was part of HYDRA,” Natasha said. _

_ “You’re getting awful close to saying she knows something, Romanoff. If you think so, just come out and say it,” Sam snapped.  _

_ “We have to consider all possibilities. Like it or not Sam, she is the one thing connecting this all together,” Natasha said. _

Sam was pulled from his thoughts by you placing a hand on his arm. He hadn’t even noticed the nurse come in. 

“Do you have someone staying with you? At least for the first few days while you settle in,” the nurse said.

“I’ll be staying with her. If not me, one of our friends,” Sam said when he saw the deer in headlights look on your face. You let out a sigh of relief. You signed the papers for release and soon enough, you and Sam were on your way to your apartment.

“You don’t have to stay you know,” you told him. He smiled at you.

“I said I would, so I will,” Sam said. Amanda had swung by your place with groceries after she had left the hospital. Sam got you settled on your couch as he moved around your kitchen, getting dinner put together. 

After dinner, you could tell something was bothering Sam. You had turned on a movie you had seen a million times and turned toward him.

“Alright, out with it. What’s bothering you, birdman?” you asked. You knew he hated that nickname, except, it seemed, when it came from you. He sighed.

“Have you ever heard of HYDRA?” he asked. You frowned. It sounded familiar.

“Aren’t they the ones that caused that mess in DC a few years back and then there was some massive data dump?” you asked. You hadn’t paid much attention, aside from checking in on a friend who lived down in DC. 

“Yes. They date back decades. They infiltrated a secret governmental organization and other facets of government. We have reason to believe your father worked for them,” he said. You felt like someone had hit you in the stomach, knocking the air from your chest.

“My dad worked for the governor. After that...well. He couldn’t talk about his work. He worked for some government agency,” you said. Sam watched for any tell that you were lying.

“So you didn’t know anything about his work?” Sam asked.

“No. Sam, what’s going on?” you asked. He was about to answer when your phone rang. Amanda’s name lit up on your phone. You answered, only to have your phone fall from your hands as a sob tore through you. You barely registered Sam picking up your phone and talking to her. Garrett was gone. He was dead. 

“It’s my fault,” you said.

“It isn’t,” Sam said, pulling you close.

“If I had seen the wire sooner, I could have...I should’ve been...it’s my fault,” you said, unable to get a coherent sentence out. You weren’t sure how long Sam held you. If it was seconds, minutes, hours. He held you until the tears stopped and all that remained were dry sobs. He held you until your sobs quieted and sleep lured you in like a siren’s call. You were vaguely aware of him picking you up and placing you in your bed, under the covers. 

In the light of day, neither of you mentioned it and your conversation from the previous night moved to the backburner in his mind. HYDRA could wait. You couldn’t. 

The funeral was a few days later. It had been a blur for you. You thought about Garrett’s family, the guilt weighing on you. Sam was a constant. Anything you needed, he was there. You were sure you would have fallen to pieces if you hadn’t had him holding you up. Amanda and Carlos were great, but they had their own grief to work through. Their own grief to handle. Your entire unit did. You knew you weren’t the only one carrying guilt, but you felt like you were carrying the bulk of it. You had been in there with him. You had been the one to see the tripwire. You ran over the fire in your head over and over, replaying it as if it would change things. 

You felt awkward in your dress uniform with your arm still immobilized. You knew the Avengers would be there. As would the mayor. You tried to keep your mind off of what Sam had told you. He never did get to continue that conversation with you and there hadn’t been a good time to ask him about it. 

“You good, kiddo?” Carlos asked. While you couldn’t carry the casket in your condition, you were among those walking alongside the truck in the procession to the church, his helmet in your hands. 

“As good as I can be. Should have been me,” you said.

“Kiddo,” he said.

“I should have seen it sooner. If I had, we wouldn’t be standing here and I...I wouldn’t have to speak at one of my best friend’s funerals,” you said. He pulled you into a side hug, mindful of both your shoulder and the helmet in your hands. The helmet that felt like it weighed a ton. 

You moved in time with the others, a steady drumbeat playing. Line of duty deaths always hit hard. The streets were lined. Fellow firefighters and other New Yorkers lined the streets. As the procession arrived at the church, you kept your tears at bay. Amazing Grace began to play on bagpipes as the casket was lowered on the truck to be brought into the church. Garrett’s family was as Irish-American as they came, Catholic through and through. 

Entering the church, you had a role to play. Placing the helmet your friend wore at the front of the church, beside the casket. You turned and saw his wife. They had just welcomed their first child six months prior. Guilt washed over you once more. Your eyes darted around. You saw where the Avengers were sat, close to the front with other officials and dignitaries. Your unit was also toward the front. When your time came to speak you took a moment to find your words, standing at the podium.

Sam watched as you stood at the podium, your eyes shining in the harsh lights of the church. You didn’t look like a criminal mastermind. He was certain now more than ever that they could rule you out as a suspect. He had been with you when you found out. Held you while you cried. He was firmly in the camp that saw you as a victim of whatever mess was unfolding. He glanced around the packed church, spotting Natasha standing off to one side, her eyes scanning the crowd. Wanda was in the back somewhere and Clint was perched out of view. As you stared to speak, Sam kept his eyes on you as you made eye contact with him. 

“When Beth asked me if I would speak today, my gut instinct was to say no. I’ve been friends with Garrett since I joined the FDNY. And with that, came an easy friendship with his then girlfriend, now wife. Garrett was like a brother to me. He took me under his wing and taught me how to fly. He taught me how to stand up for myself. When I started, I was a quiet girl, who let too many things fly. Garrett refused to let that remain to be the case. Many here will remember Red Branigan. Red was the most senior guy on our crew and Red always gave me a hard time. 

It was Garrett that took pity on me. One day after a particularly bad call, Red was just letting me have it because I messed up. I wanted to cry. Garrett looked at me, told me to follow him, and I did. He sat me down and said ‘kid’ to which I looked at him and went ‘you’re a year older than me don’t call me kid’. He smiled and went ‘so, where’s that attitude when Red’s letting into you?’. I looked at him like he was crazy. He told me Red could tell I was holding back, that I wasn’t letting the team get to know me, the real me. So, he was doing what Red does. He was poking the bear hoping for a reaction to break the ice.

Garrett always had my back. I just wish I’d had his. I wish he was here. I wish he would get to see his little girl grow up. Because he deserves that. He deserves to be here. I know that wishing for him to be back won’t change things, but that doesn’t stop me from making that wish. He was my best friend. He was my brother. He was a loving son, brother, husband, and father. We will never forget the life he lived. The happiness he brought into our lives. He lives on in our hearts and we will carry him with us always,” you said, your voice cracking at the end. 

As the procession moved back outside to head to the cemetery, a shot rang out. You gasped in pain. It was a moment before chaos unfolded. You watched as Bucky Barnes took off toward something as someone caught you. Your brain caught up to the pain radiating from your shoulder as the initial panic started to fade. 

You were in a daze until you got to a medical facility. You knew it wasn’t a hospital. You looked at Sam, a question on your lips. Tony Stark had donned his Iron Man suit to get you away from the scene. Sam had followed behind.

“What the hell,” you muttered.

“We had a tip off that something was happening today. It’s about time we had that chat about your dad,” Sam said as Helen Cho entered the room.

“That talk can wait until after I treat my patient,” Dr. Cho said before introducing herself to you. Your world was about to get turned upside down. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr: jbbarnesnnoble.tumblr.com
> 
> We're in the home stretch. Just the epilogue remains

You flinched as Dr. Cho tended to your wound. Sam sat in a chair beside you the entire time, neither of you talking. Your thoughts were racing. Why did they need to talk to you about your father? You knew his work was secretive, but you never thought it could involve the Avengers in any capacity. How much was there that you didn’t know about your own father? 

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Sam said. You glanced toward him. 

“You’re alright. No one’s in trouble, okay? I should’ve waited to bring it up,” he said, his tone soft. You nodded. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Well, I got shot at one of my best friend’s funeral’s so, you know, just peachy,” you snarked. He smiled a little at that. You grimaced as you felt the last of the stitches go in.

“I’m done. I want to see you back in a week to check on them, they should be ready to come out then,” Dr. Cho said. You nodded.

“Thanks,” you said. Sam helped you up off the hospital bed. Taking your hand in his, he led you out of the medical wing and off to the Avengers wing. He had you sit on a couch while he grabbed waters for the two of you. You took in your surroundings, admiring the simplicity of the room and how homey it felt despite it being in what amounted to a military institution. Sam returned, handing you one of the bottles.

“We have a good idea of who it was. What do you know about HYDRA?” he asked, getting right to the point. You frowned. 

“Weren’t they that group that was exposed a few years ago? The one Captain Rogers thought had been wiped out?” you asked. He nodded. 

“We have reason to believe some of the survivors are connected to the fires. And to the fire that killed the rest of your family,” he said, trying to break the news as delicately as he could. There was no way around ripping off that bandaid. It was going to hurt no matter how he told you.

“What are you saying Sam?” you asked, you voice raising in pitch. You were sure you were connecting the dots. There was no way he was about to suggest what you thought he was.

“Your father worked for HYDRA back in the day. But that’s not the full story. He was a plant. Fury suspected that SHIELD had been compromised but could never get solid evidence. The governor at the time had been involved in HYDRA. Your father got close enough to him to be trusted. He was working with HYDRA until the collapse in 2014, to get information for Fury. He hadn’t been able to tip him off about Pierce because it would have blown his cover,” Sam explained. 

“Where is he? Is he safe? Sam, please. Is my dad safe?” you asked. You felt your anxiety rising. Sam placed a hand on your cheek, as he looked you in the eyes. It was a strangely intimate moment.

“I promise you. We’re doing everything we can to keep him safe. To keep you safe. And keep your friends safe. We’re going to stop them,” he said.

“Were the fires a threat or an attempt to kill me?” you asked. He sighed.

“We think the first ones were a message for you and your father. The last one was no doubt an attempt to kill you,” he confirmed. You sucked in a breath. 

“Instead one of my best friend’s got killed,” you said. Your voice cracked and tears threatened to fall. Sam pulled you close and you wrapped your arms around him as you let yourself break.

“HYDRA is gone, but some of their more zealous members lived. Brock Rumlow is the one who shot you. We had a clear image of him on camera. We’re working on tracking him down, but it’s going to take time,” he said. You frowned.

“But I can go home right?” you asked. He shook his head.

“It’s too much of a risk right now,” he replied. You glared at him. You didn’t like where the conversation was going. It sounded more like you were going to be held as a prisoner by the Avengers, or some damsel in distress in a castle. Either way, it wasn’t you. You refused to sit back and do nothing.

“I’m going home,” you said, standing up, careful not to jostle any of your injuries too much. Sam stood with you.

“You can’t. FRIDAY won’t let you out of this building. Not until we catch Rumlow,” he explained. You glared at him. You didn’t care how much you liked Sam. In this moment, he may as well have been your worst enemy with how you were looking at him. He shrunk back under your gaze. He admired the fire in your eyes. 

“You listen here Sam, and you listen good. I am not staying here. You’re driving me back to the city to my apartment and if it makes you feel better you can stay the night. But I’m not staying here,” you snapped. Sam held his hands up in mock surrender.

“No can do. As much as I’d love to, you’re safest here. You going back to your place would put your neighbors in danger,” he said. You paused for a moment. You hadn’t thought about that. You thought about Gloria nextdoor with her two kids, an adorable 3 year old and his six month old sister. Angela downstairs who’s grandkids visited constantly to check on her and spend time with her. Martin down the hall with his husband Nate, and their three kids. You knew Sam was right. You couldn’t put them at risk. Your shoulders slumped forward as you nodded in agreement.

“You’re right,” you said softly. 

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s not your fault some HYDRA maniac is after me. Hell, I don’t even blame my father. Sometimes that’s just how it is,” you said. You were already calculating a plan in your head. If Rumlow had gotten this far without the Avengers realizing, you had a feeling it wasn’t going to be easy for them to find him. Not without you. 

This wasn’t your area of expertise. The best way to get into a car to get to an accident victim without causing further injury, how to vent a roof, signs of structural collapse, those were the things you knew. Taking on a man who was hellbent on getting to you was way outside of your depths. But if it was you he was looking to get to, there was no way you’d sit at the sidelines.

The other Avengers trickled into the room. Sam shot Captain Rogers a look. It seemed like an unspoken conversation was happening between them. A girl you recognized as the Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximoff, sat beside you.

“We won’t let them get their hands on you,” she said quietly. 

“I know,” you replied. Introductions were made all around before Steve jumped into the details of the situation and the plan they had.

“Our best shot is using you to draw him out. I’m not keen on it, but we’ve hit dead ends in trying to find him and his base of operations,” Steve said. 

“Absolutely not. We’re not putting her in more danger. He was trying to kill her,” Sam argued. You placed a hand on his arm, gently drawing his attention to you.

“This is my fight, Sam. I might not understand why. But he’s the reason one of my best friend’s is dead. If he wants me, he can come get me. But he’ll have to go through you guys first, won’t he?” you asked. Natasha gave you a slight smile. You counted that as a win in your book when she seemed to not like you very much. 

“And if he gets through us?” Sam challenged.

“I have faith in you, Sam. You won’t let him,” you said.

“Fahrenheit’s in. So, what’s the plan, Cap?” Tony Stark asked. 

* * *

Central Park was oddly quiet in the hours before dawn. But the team had ensured it was empty of civilians. You had set a routine of jogging in the park before the sun rose in the sky once you were medically cleared from your injuries from both the explosion and the gunshot. Surveillance of the park indicated Rumlow knew. And as far as he knew, you had had a falling out with Sam and had left his side, staying in a place graciously rented by Tony Stark for a staycation that had no neighbors inside the building. As far as Rumlow knew, the Avengers weren’t keeping tabs on your moves, not after the public blowup you and Sam had. 

_ You and Sam had taken a walk through the park before going to grab lunch. He made a show of ordering for you, something he knew you hated. You kept reminding yourself. This was Sam. You liked Sam. Sam was your friend. Your very attractive friend who you wished would make a move on you because you were not about to make the first move. It didn’t take the sting away from what you knew was coming, what had to be done. _

_ “I can order for myself,” you snapped. He held his hands up in surrender. _

_ “Fine,” he said. Pretending to fight with him was difficult. But you knew you were being watched. It was a feeling that stuck with you every time you went out these days, ever since you left the safety of living among the Avengers. It had to be believable that you two had a falling out, that you were tired of being followed around by the Avengers. _

_ “I’d like to go out alone for once,” you said bitterly. _

_ “You know why you can’t,” he replied. _

_ “Sam, I am sick and tired of being followed around like I’m a child. I’m a grown woman. I have a job, even if I’m on desk duty filling out reports,” you snapped. This was the start of it, what would hopefully draw Rumlow out. _

_ After lunch, you and Sam stormed off in opposite directions. You had moved into the residence Tony had secured a few days prior. You made a show of tossing Sam’s stuff out as he arrived back, demanding to be left alone.  _

_ “Fine. See what happens when we’re not here to protect you,” Sam snapped as he grabbed his duffle bag. It hurt. You knew it wasn’t real, but it still hurt. You never wanted to fight with him, even if it was acting.  _

You snapped out of your thoughts as you heard movement. You knew Rumlow would still be suspicious. But the hope was he’d at least take the chance to get at you, even with the risk of it being a trap. You were certain you were about to find out if he took the bait. 

You heard a bullet fly by your ear as a gunshot rang out. You stumbled over your feet, turning and seeing Rumlow not far behind you.

“Gotta say, I was expecting you to be better protected. I heard you and bird boy had a fight. Shame that the Avengers would just leave you like that,” Rumlow taunted. There was something about his tone that made you believe he knew it was a ruse. You all knew it had been a hail mary play. 

“What of it?” you asked. 

“You know it’s not your father I’m after. No. No I want him to suffer for the rest of his days, fearful about when we’ll come for him after seeing what we do to you,” Rumlow said.

“So you’re going the villainous monologue route. You do know how that turns out in the end, don’t you?” you fired back. You moved as you saw him pull the trigger again, making the choice to run toward him. You had no time to think. The team should have been there by now, but they were nowhere to be seen. You wrestled him for the gun and it clattered to the ground.

Hand to hand combat was not something they taught you in the fire academy. You tried to meet Rumlow blow for blow but you knew you were outmatched. You fell to the ground but the gun was within reach. You wasted no time in grabbing it. You fired off a shot, hitting Rumlow in the shoulder, but it wasn’t enough to incapacitate him. He was on you in seconds, the gun tossed to the side as you felt a searing pain. He had a knife on him. You heard footsteps as he was yanked away from you. 

You looked up and saw Sam, worry etched on his face. You heard him yell for medical assistance.

“Keep your eyes on me,” Sam said as he kept pressure on the wound. You placed your hand over his, for your comfort or his you weren’t sure. But you weren’t planning on letting him go anytime soon. 

* * *

The white walls of the medical wing of the Avengers compound were a sight you were becoming too accustomed to. This time, Helen had you put in the cradle because of how deep the wound was. It was one of the more bizarre experiences of your life.

“I’m really starting to hope I never see this place again,” you said to Sam. Helen was insistent that you still stay overnight, to ensure everything healed properly. 

“I’m getting tired of seeing you in here. You scared me today, you know that?” he asked. You ducked your head a little.

“Sometimes, you have to be the hero in your own story,” you replied.

“Sometimes you don’t have to be,” he shot back.

“In my defense, I was doing okay before he pulled the knife on me,” you defended. Sam laughed a little.

“If you consider a broken nose, four broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and a stab wound ‘doing okay’. I thought we were going to lose you,” Sam admitted. He looked away from you. You two were skirting around the obvious and you knew it.

“But you didn’t. I’m still here. Thanks to you. To the team. I never doubted for a minute you’d save me,” you told him. 

“I was scared. Rumlow managed to take out all the surveillance we had in that area. All I can think about is how I almost didn’t have this chance,” he said. You looked at him, confused.

“What chance?” you asked. He moved closer to you, and your eyes fluttered shut as his lips met yours. Your heart rate sped up and the two of you pulled apart, resting your foreheads together. 

“This one,” he said. You didn’t say a word, instead, pulling him in for another kiss. 


End file.
